Brittextana
by dontbreathetoodeep
Summary: One shots of various text conversations between Brittany and Santana. Sometimes these will run alongside my Brittana fic, Cute Little Gay Beard; it's not at all necessary to read that to understand this but some of the jokes may make more sense if you do.
1. Spanish Mode

Saturday 21st January

(9:01)

San?

(9:01)

_Britt. _

(9:05)

I think I forgot how to send texts again.

(9:05)

_Well, I'm getting these so I think you're alright. _

(9:08)

Oh.

(9:09)

San?

(9:10)

_Yes Britt._

(9:15)

Why am I typing in Spanish?

(9:16)

_You're not typing in Spanish, Britt._

(9:20)

Yes I am, that's why it's taking me so long to reply, I'm looking up the meanings for everything.

(9:25)

San?

(9:45)

_Sorry I went back to sleep. Are you still typing in Spanish?_

(9:50)

_Brittany, are you still typing in Spanish?_

(9:51)

Santana I'm not typing in Spanish, your messages are in Spanish. I told you not to confuse me unless you say it sexily.

(9:54)

_You put your phone onto Spanish again, I'm not typing in Spanish._

(10:01)

Sanny come and fix it!

(10:10)

_I'll be over in a couple of hours, can you handle it until then? _

(10:15)

I'll ask Mr Schuester to fix it on Monday.

(10:16)

_But I'll just fix it today, what's wrong?_

(10:20)

But Mr Schue is a Spanish teacher, he'll know how to fix it. And if he doesn't I'll just ask him to translate it for me.

(10:22)

_You don't need a Spanish teacher Britt, I'll just turn it back onto the English mode. And hey, I can speak Spanish too!_

(10:30)

But he's a teacher San.

(10:45)

_Look I'm ready now I'll be right over, and I'll fix your phone too, alright? _

(10:49)

Seguro mi dulce señora.

(10:50)

That one I typed myself.


	2. Aladdin

(11:00)

Santana I think you're right. I just thought that, if Mr Schue reads and translates these texts, it probably wouldn't be very good.

(11:01)

I mean, think about all the sexting we do.

(11:02)

Nobody else can see your phone can they Santana?

(11:04)

Santana?

(11:05)

Oh you're at the door. OK.

* * *

><p>(23:04)<p>

_I just looked at my phone from before. You do realise I was driving at that point don't you?_

(23:05)  
>I thought someone had stolen your phone, I guess they haven't though, I'm so glad you found it.<p>

(23:07)

_Britt, I never lost it ._

(23:08)

Then why didn't you reply to me?

(23:09)

_I was driving!_

(23:10)

Do you think that driving stopped Aladdin texting Princess Jasmine?

(23:11)

_I don't think mobiles were around then, honey._

(23:13)

Come on San, she totally knew he was going to swoop in all cool on his magic carpet. There was no way that was a surprise. If it was, it was bad acting on Jasmine's part.

(23:15)

_I'm sorry I didn't reply to your texts abour Mr Schue. Anyway, now there's no need for him to fix or translate it. It is still working isn't it?_

(23:36)

_Now who isn't replying?_

(23:45)

Sorry Sanny, Lord Tubbington stole my mobile.


	3. Windows

**Monday 23rd January**

(5:02)

Have you and Blaine chosen a song yet?

(5:05)

_Not yet, there's nothing appropriate we could sing to each other._

(5:07)

Why not just choose some love song we've already done...less work :P

(5:10)

_I don't want to sing a love song to him, Britt. I don't love him. _

(5:11)

San, it's only Glee club, I don't mind.

(5:14)

_The only person I want to sing a love song to is you. _

(5:15)

I love you too.

* * *

><p>(6:12)<p>

_We've chosen a song!_

(6:16)

Oh good!

(6:17)

Yeah,_ finally. Are you still OK to come over later?_

(6:18)

Yeah, can't wait Sanny.

(6:19)

_Me neither, maybe I could give you a... sneak preview of the song._

(6:21)

Oh really?

(6:22)

_Mmhm ;)_

(6:25)

Can't I just come over now?

(6:27)

_Anderson's still here, and now he's spilling everything about Kurt._

(6:30)

Ohh you'll have to tell me everything later.

(6:33)

_Before or after we get our sweet lady kisses on?_

(6:35)

Hmm, before. Once we start on that I won't want to stop.

(6:36)

_Sounds like a plan Britt._

* * *

><p>(7:06)<p>

San, don't be mad at me.

(7:09)

_Never. What's wrong?_

(7:11)

I found a bird on my windowsill and I need to make it a new house so Lord Tubbington doesn't eat him.

(7:13)

_Britt._

(7:15)

I need to San, I'm sorry I can't come over. You know I want some sweet lady kisses but if Tubs eats this little guy he'll get fatter and fatter and then he'll start smoking again. You know, to lose the weight.

(7:16)

_OK Brittany, it's alright. I'll see you tomorrow?_

(7:20)

Course you will San, it's school tomorrow.

(7:23)

_I'll pick you up. Love you._

(7:30)

Love you too.

* * *

><p>(10:36)<br>San I'm sorry, the house I made didn't even work, Tubs ate the little guy anyway.

(10:40)

Sanny can I come and see you?

(10:41)

San?

(10:42)

Saaaaaaaan?

(10:45)

Right I'm coming over. I'll use the window if I need to.


	4. Stolen

**Thursday 2nd February**

(1:34)

_You have stolen my heart. _

(1.35)

Sanny.

(1:35)

_And from the ballroom floor we are in celebration._

(1:36)

One good stretch before our hibernation.

(1:38)

_Dreams assured and we all sleep well._

(1:39)

Sleep well.

(1:40)

_I thought you might be sleeping. _

(1:42)

I'm not sleeping Sanny, but you should be.

(1:43)

_You should be too!_

(1:43)

Are you listening to your iPod again?

(1:44)

_I wish you were here._

(1:45)

You didn't answer me San.

(1:47)

_Yes I'm listening to my iPod again, Quinn's asleep and she's being boring. _

(1:48)

Should I come around then?

(1:50)

_I thought you'd never ask._

…

**Friday 3rd February**

(12:34)

Remind me why I'm not in your arms right now San.

(12:45)

_Because Mr Schue caught us this morning and he said that if he caught us again he'd send us home?_

(12:47)

OK give me a better excuse.

(12:49)

_Britt I want to be with you too, all I have here is Quinn to hug into._

(12:49)

No fair!

(12:51)

_I'm joking, she's asleep. Boring again. _

(12:53)

Tina snores, who knew? She makes more noise in her sleep than when she's alive.

(12:54)

_Alive?_

(12:55)

Awake* :P

(1:01)

_So are we just going to text all night?_

(1:03)

Probably...

(1:05)

_I'm cold. _

(1:07)

Me too. This is where we hug...

(1:09)

_Pretend? _

(1:11)

You can hug Quinn if you want to, if you're cold.

(1:13)

_Babe, I'm not going to hug Quinn. One because I only want to hug you and two because I think she'd hit me if I just climbed into bed with her..._

(1:14)

Hmm... yeah maybe.

(1:14)

Oh!

(1:15)

San!

(1:17)

_Britt?_

(1:18)

I left my hoodie there! You can wear it!

(1:20)

_Britt?_

(1:20)

San?

(1:22)

_I already am... _

(1:24)

You're adorable.

(1:25)

_Only for you. I couldn't help it, it smells so good._

(1:30)

It smells of me.

(1:31)

_Exactly. _

(1:32)

Aw San, I love you.

(1:33)

_I love you too._

(1:45)

_Britt?_

(1:49)

_Goodnight baby._


	5. 25

**Saturday 11th February**

(23:02)

I had a really good night tonight San.

(23:05)

_So did I Britt._

(23:06)

I miss you.

(23:08)

_I miss you too._

(23:10)

What are you doing?

(23:12)

_Sitting in bed, thinking about you._

(23:13)

San!

(23:14)

_Not like that!_

(23:15)

_Well maybe a little bit like that ;)_

(23:16)

Oh, San.

(23:17)

_Kidding?_

(23:19)

Not gonna work now :P

(23:21)

_So, what are you doing, Britt?_

(23:25)

I'm doing the same now. Stoking Tubs.

(23:27)

_Stroking your pussy...cat?_

(23:18)

San!

(23:19)

_Sorry that was crude._

(23:21)

Rude* :)

(23:22)

_Yes Britt, thanks :)_

(23:25)

I really love you, you know.

(23:26)

_I know. _

(23:27)

_I really love you too._

(23:29)

And my pussy? ;)

(23:30)

_Oh yes, Britt, and your pussy._

* * *

><p><strong>Sunday 12th February <strong>

(8:25)

San

(8:26)

San

(8:27)

San!

(8:27)

Bet you're still asleep.

(8:28)

I wonder how many times I can text you before you wake up.

(8:30)

Right, let's get started.

(8:30)

I love you.

(8:31)

I know you know that I just want you to be reminded as soon as you wake up.

(8:32)

I love you more than music.

(8:32)

I love you more than dancing.

(8:33)

I love you more than glee.

(8:33)

I love you more than cheesy fondue. Fondue for two, fondue for two.

(8:34)

I love you more than Lord Tubbington loves food.

(8:36)

Sanny, Cherish by Madonna just came on my iPod shuffle.

(8:39)

AND NOW CONSTANT CRAVING.

(8:45)

Baby I think my iPod is gay, it keeps putting Melissa Etheridge and Tegan and Sara on.

(8:46)

Oh no I did that haha.

(8:52)

So I wonder what you're dreaming about.

(8:53)

Are you dreaming about me? I dream about you all the time.

(8:55)

Sometimes you, me and Katy Perry. Those are fun dreams San ;)

(8:57)

Do you have those type of dreams?

(9:01)

I hope you are asleep and not dead.

(9:03)

That's why I like sleepng over, then I know when you're alive and when you're dead.

(9:04)

Well not when you're dead because obviously you've never been dead.

(9:10)

That's not the only reason though, San. I also like the feeling of going to sleep with you wrapped in my arms. The voice you use when you're tired and you last whisper "I love you". When I wake in the middle of the night to see a light smile on your lips and your chest raising slightly up and down as you dream. Waking up with your breath on my neck or your hair in my face. I just love being with you Santana.

(9:13)

_25_

(9:14)

What?

(9:15)

_25 messages and I'm in tears, Britt._

(9:16)

Is it because of what I said about Katy Perry? I'm so sorry. You're way hotter than her anyway.

(9:17)

_No, Brittany. Happy tears. _

(9:18)

Happy Sanny?

(9:19)

_What did I do to deserve you?_

(9:21)

You stole my heart.

(9:22)

"_You have stolen my heart."_

(9:23)

You have.

(9:24)

_Oh Britt._

(9:25)

It's true.

(9:25)

_You stole mine too Brittany. _

(9:29)

_I know you love me but I love hearing it so much. Also, I put those songs on your iPod so it must be me who is gay ;) Yes I do dream about you, all the time and although it isn't usually Katy Perry, Rihanna does come into my dreams sometimes but it's mostly just you. You and me. Because I love you too. Going to sleep with you by my side, in my arms, is my favourite thing. See Britt, sometimes I hate going to sleep because YOU are my dream so why do I need to sleep?_

(9:31)

Well.

(9:32)

You are pretty gay.

(9:33)

_Yeah I am._

(9:34)

But I love you anyway.

(9:35)

_Good. _

(9:37)

Hmm. You're my dream too Sanny.

(9:38)

_Well then, we may never need to sleep again. _


	6. Missing Phone

**Monday 13th February**

(16:01)

_Who is this?_

(16:02)

It's your girlfriend...

(16:05)

_No no I don't have a girlfriend. Who are you?_

(16:07)

Sanny, you do have a girlfriend. I'm your girlfriend. Are you OK?

(16:09)

_So this phone belongs to "Sanny". And apparently your name is "B"?_

(16:11)

Of course your phone belongs to you San. And my name is Brittany. What's wrong? Why are you saying I'm not your girlfriend?

(16:13)

_I'm not "San"._

(16:14)

What?

(16:16)

_I'm not the owner of this phone._

(16:18)

I don't understand, it says this message is from you, Santana, you so why isn't it you?

(16:20)

_Look I found this phone on the bus. The only clue I have is that they text you a lot and they love this blonde person very much._

(16:21)

Are you watching me?

(16:23)

_What?_

(16:24)

How do you know I'm blonde?

(16:26)

_Because there's a photo of a blonde person on the phone and looking through the photos there are a lot of... other photos... of this blonde person_.

(16:28)

So you're not Santana?

(16:29)

_No, I'm Joe._

(16:30)

Jesus?

(16:31)

_Joe! God._

(16:32)

No you're not God, you're Jesus.

(16:34)

_I'm Joe!... wow you really are flexible._

(16:35)

Stop looking at my girlfriend's photos!

(16:37)

_OK OK, calm down. How am I supposed to get it back to her?_

(16:38)

Give it to me.

(16:39)

_I don't know who you are!_

(16:41)

You're watching me!

(16:42)

_No I'm not!_

(16:43)

_Oh never mind. I'm just going to hand it in to the Lima police._

(16:44)

_You tell your friend that's what I'm going to do OK?_

(16:45)

OK.

(16:45)

Sanny, teen Jesus found your phone and he's going to hand it in to police station.

(16:46)

_I'M NOT TEEN JESUS. _

(16:46)

_AND YOU'RE STILL TEXTING ME._

(16:47)

Ah yes, that makes sense. I'll ring her.

(16:48)

_Thank you._

(16:50)

No, thank you Jesus.

* * *

><p>(18:34)<p>

_I can't believe that pervert went through my photos!_

(18:36)

Sanny?

(18:37)

_Yes Britt, it's me._

(18:38)

Prove it.

(18:39)

_Well how?_

(18:40)

I don't know.

(18:41)

_Right... well anyway I got my phone back._

(18:42)

So it's not Jesus anymore?

(18:43)

_You seem disappointed._

(18:44)

No! No not sad Sanny. I was confused when he texted me.

(18:45)

_I can see that... sometimes you're very funny when you text B._

(18:46)

You weren't spying too Sanny?

(18:47)

_No Britt, the texts are still on my phone._

(18:48)

Do you think he read our texts? Do you think Jesus knows we're gay? Does he hate us?

(18:49)

_Britt Britt, don't be silly. He wasn't Jesus, he was just some horny teenage guy who found a phone on the bus whose background was two girls kissing. I don't blame him for taking a snoop._

(18:50)

Would you?

(18:51)

_Yes of course I would._

(18:52)

So would I.

(18:53)

_I thought you might ;)_

* * *

><p>(19:03)<p>

Can you remember when Kurt got back from Dalton and came to see us at your house?

(19:04)

_Which time baby?_

(19:05)

The first time, the first time he met Blaine. He came to see us two because he knew about us two before we even did?

(19:06)

_Yes of course I can. _

(19:07)

He told us that Blaine sang Teenage Dream to him and you told me that you thought it was sweet... That singing to someone was probably the most vulnerable thing you could do for someone?

(19:08)

_Yes Britt, I still think it is._

(19:09)

But what I don't understand is that you sing to me all the time. And you sang to me with Miss Holiday in Glee, and then Songbird and then all the other times you sing to me.

(19:10)

_I sing to you because I love you Britt. I love you and I am happy to make myself vulnerable to you because "with you, it's alright. I know it's right."_

(19:12)

Why are you so adorable?

(19:13)

_I can't help it. I'm naturally brilliant._

(19:14)

But you wouldn't let people know it would you?

(19:16)

_Sometimes. Maybe. If you're lucky ;)_

* * *

><p>(19:31)<p>

_Jesus left me a message._

(19:32)

In the Bible?

(19:33)

_No! On my phone._

(19:35)

Oh.

(19:35)

Ohh, right OK. What did it say?

(19:36)

"_You and your girlfriend are totally hot. And cute, and I never thought I'd say that about two girls. Thank you for leaving your phone on that seat. Thanks to that I've accepted my sister. You and Brittany seem to love each other and now I can see that my sister can love a girl too. So thank you, 'Sanny' (sorry I don't know your real name). - Joe."_

(19:40)

Wow.

(19:41)

Do you think his sister is a lesbian?

(19:41)

That was a joke Sanny. I know she's a lesbian.

(19:42)

_Who knew Jesus' sister was a lesbian?_

(19:43)

Maybe that was why she was never mentioned.

(19:45)

_:')...Britt._

(19:46)

I know, he isn't Jesus. I just like to play San. :)

(19:47)

_I know you do. I like to play too. _

(19:48)

Oh San.

(19:50)

_Hehe :) _

* * *

><p>(21:46)<p>

_I think I know what song I'll do for Glee._

(21:48)

I thought you weren't going to sing a solo. Thought you were going to leave it for Rachel and Kurt.

(21:49)

_This isn't about the competition, not really._

(21:51)

_This is about you. About making myself vulnerable to you, to prove I can do it infront of people. _

(21:52)

You don't have to. If you don't want to that is.

(21:53)

_I do want to. More than anything._

(21:54)

Thank you Sanny.

(21:56)

_I love you. You know that?_

(21:58)

Hmm. Yes I know that. I love you too, baby.


	7. Bathroom

(11:05)

Oh Santana I love you.

(11:05)

Oh Santana I do.

(11:05)

Oh maths is so boring.

(11:06)

Meet me at the loo?

(11:06)

_The what?_

(11:07)

The loo, it's English for toilet.

(11:08)

_Britt, we speak English. _

(11:09)

No, we speak American, San.

(11:09)

_Right OK. Where am I meeting you?_

(11:10)

The toilets, San, I told you!

(11:10)

OMG San there are two people in a cubicle and they're totally doing it.

(11:11)

_OMG really! I thought we were the only ones who did that. _

(11:11)

Hahahaha I know. One of them is called Jenny. Do we know a Jenny?

(11:12)

_Nope, I don't think so. Unless you count Jenny from the L word._

(11:13)

Ugh I don't like her.

(11:13)

_Me neither. Bitch._

(11:14)

San I feel weird, like I shouldn't be in here.

(11:15)

_Don't be silly baby, it's a bathroom. A school bathroom. They should be able to tell when people come in when to stop. It's not exactly difficult._

(11:15)

Well, I can never tell.

(11:15)

_I can ;) _

(11:16)

I know you can. You're skilled in that way.

(11:17)

_I'm skilled in lots of ways ;)_

(11:17)

Yes, I know ;)

(11:18)

_Coming now baby. _

(11:18)

That's what Jenny just said...

(11:19)

_Lol omg :)_

(11:19)

Oh dear they just walked out.

(11:19)

_Who was it then? Do we know them?_

(11:20)

I don't know. Some kind of arty people I think. They looked really funny when they came out and then they noticed me laughing.

(11:21)

_Laughing? Oh Britt._

(11:21)

I tried not to! I thought they were going to die when they saw me though.

(11:21)

_Did you say anything? _

(11:22)

Yeah I said, "don't worry me and my girlfriend do that all the time" then they realised who I was and began to laugh along with me. One of them fist pumped me on their way out. I feel like a new member of a lesbian group or something.

(11:23)

_Oh Britt._

(11:24)

They also said that they thought we were cute together. And that we were brave to be out and cheerleaders. And still popular.

(11:25)

_OMG Britt I just saw them walk down the hall and one of them totally winked at me. _

(11:25)

Oh... maybe they think we're going to do something now.

(11:26)

_They think correct then don't they? ;)_

(11:26)

Oh fuck San hurry up.

(11:26)

_Coming now baby. Almost there. _

(11:27)

Me too and you're not even here! ;)


	8. Strap

_A/N_

_Hey sorry to do this but I had a message saying it wasn't necessary to put the times in so I decided not to because then I can update a lot faster. Hope that is OK. Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing, I really appreciate it._

_And on with the Brittextanaing! _

* * *

><p>(21:12)<p>

_Britt we have a bit of a problem._

(21:23)

What's that Sanny?

(21:24)

_You left the strap on here..._

(21:26)

Right... what's the problem?

(21:27)

_My Mom might find it. Scratch that, she will find it. _

(21:28)

No she won't. Hide it!

(21:29)

_I can't hide that thing! Where would I put it that she wouldn't possibly find it?_

(21:31)

Well where did you used to hide all the condoms you had?

(21:32)

_Ew thanks. But that's a little different Britt._

(21:34)

No it's not, silly! Just put them there!

(21:34)

_I used to put them in my bra..._

(21:35)

Well that could be fun...

(21:35)

_Britt!_

(21:36)

OK I'm sorry. I don't know where you could put it.

(21:37)

_Britt, can't you come back for it?_

(21:38)

_Please?_

_Pleeeeeease baby?_

(21:40)

Right OK fine I'll come back for it.

(21:41)

Ooh on one condition...

(21:42)

_OK?_

I get to fuck you with it when I get there.

(21:44)

_Mm, what do you want to do?_

(21:45)

I want to bend you over your bed, your chest of drawers, your window sill. Tie your arms around the top of your bed and fuck you until you can't take anymore.

(21:46)

_Fucking hell hurry up then._

(21:47)

Is that a yes?

(21:48)

_It's a hurry up or I'll do it myself ;)_

* * *

><p>(23:32)<p>

_Britt I can't walk._

_I can't wall to the bathroom and I need to shower._

(23:34)

_And brush my teeth omg. Britt!_

(23:35)

_Britt I'm not even a virgin in that sort of area. _

(23:36)

Thanks for the reminder San :(

(23:37)

_No no no. it's a good thing._

(23:38)

It is?

(23:39)

_Well duh, you're better than everyone I've ever been with. It's the first time I've ever enjoyed... that. _

(23:40)

_I've always known you were better though. Penis or no Penis. _

(23:41)

I know.

(23:42)

I'm brilliant.

(23:43)

_Mmhm. _

(23:44)

Not as brilliant as you though.

(23:45)

_Don't be silly Britt. This was all you._

(23:46)

Next time?

(23:47)

_Oh next time it'll be me again. ;)_

(23:48)

Hehe it was fun topping for once San.

(23:49)

_You should do it more, it was hot._

(23:50)

I know. ;)

(23:51)

_Ugh I love you._

(23:52)

I love you too.


	9. CoD

(17:15)

Santana I have a problem.

(17:16)

_You didn't put your phone onto Spanish mode again did you?_

(17:16)

_Wait – did you?_

(17:17)

No I didn't do that.

(17:17)

I'm panicking.

(17:18)

_Calm down Britts, I'm here._

(17:19)

_Why are you panicking babe?_

(17:20)

I'm thinking about last year...

(17:21)

_What about last year, you need to be a little specific here Britt. _

(17:22)

I'm thinking about Artie.

(17:23)

_What? What about Artie? What the hell Britt!_

(17:24)

I'm thinking about what you said. When I was with Artie.

(17:24)

_Britt what are you doing? Are you trying to hurt me?_

(17:25)

_Because it's working._

(17:26)

No! San! No, I'm not trying to hurt you. I'm confused.

(17:27)

_What do you mean you're confused?_

(17:27)

_You're confused about your sexuality?_

(17:28)

_About us?_

(17:28)

_About me?_

(17:28)

_What?_

(17:29)

_Brittany for god's sake what are you confused about?_

(17:30)

You said it wasn't cheating because the plumbing was different.

(17:31)

_You're right. I did say that. _

(17:32)

_I feel stupid for it now but I did say that._

(17:32)

So it'd be the same now right? If one of us went with a boy it wouldn't be cheating, right?

(17:33)

_No. Not right._

(17:35)

_I was being stupid and selfish last year. I wanted to be with you because I loved you but I wanted you to be happy. I was also scared, scared of having to come out and face the world with our relationship. I made up all that shit about the different plumbing because I wanted you. But I knew I couldn't totally have you. _

(17:36)

_But not now. No, now we have each other. Now it should just be each other._

(17:37)

That's what I thought.

(17:38)

_Britt, have you done something?_

(17:39)

_I'm not mad._

(17:40)

_I'm upset, but I'm not mad. Not at you anyway. Quite a bit at myself._

(17:41)

I haven't done anything, Santana. I was just worried is all.

(17:42)

_What about?_

(17:43)

_If you have done something it's ok, it's my fault anyway._

(17:44)

I haven't, San. I swear.

(17:45)

And stop putting yourself down. If I did cheat it'd be my fault, not yours.

(17:46)

But no, I haven't done anything. I never would, or will.

(17:47)

_I didn't think you would. :)_

(17:48)

You trust me?

(17:49)

_I trust you Britt._

(17:50)

I trust you too.

(17:51)

But I don't trust Puck.

(17:52)

_Puck? What has he got to do with anything?_

(17:53)

You were over his the other night weren't you?

(17:53)

_No..._

(17:54)

San.

(17:54)

_Yes ok fine I was._

(17:55)

San!

(17:56)

_No no no it's not like that._

(17:56)

You just said you'd never cheat San! Now I don't know what to think!

(17:57)

_No Britt, it's not... it's not like that at all. _

(17:58)

What's it like then San? Because I'm getting upset and Lord Tubbington isn't even around to hug me. I don't know where her is but it's not here. Oh now I'm sad because I've lost him.

(17:59)

What were you doing with Puck?

(17:59)

_Ugh I was worried it would come to this..._

(18:00)

San you're worrying me.

(18:01)

_I was playing on..._

(18:01)

What?

(18:02)

_Call of Duty._

(18:02)

You were playing on Call of Duty? Omg, really? Hahahahah.

(18:03)

_Oh god._

(18:04)

Hahahahaha San! Call of Duty? What are you, a twelve year old boy?

(18:04)

_No I am not._

(18:05)

Oh god, my girlfriend is a nerd.

(18:05)

_I am not a nerd, it is not a nerd game._

(18:06)

_You get to kill zombies and shit._

(18:06)

_It's good._

(18:07)

Oh god. And here's me thinking you might have cheated.

(18:08)

_I'd never cheat, I've told you that._

(18:09)

_Well, on you. Sometimes I cheat on CoD._

(18:09)

_But only when Puck does!_

(18:10)

Hahahahaha I can't believe you play Call of Duty with Puck.

(18:11)

_I can't believe you got it out of me._

(18:12)

_That's why I've never told you when I've been there._

(18:12)

How many times?

(18:13)

_Well my kill count varies depending how mad I am..._

(18:14)

No!

(18:15)

I mean how many times have you been there?

(18:15)

_Oh... _

(18:16)

Come on, tell me.

(18:17)

_Once a week?_

(18:18)

San.

(18:19)

_Fine three times a week. Have you had your fun now?_

(18:21)

Nope. This is hilarious.

(18:21)

_Oh whatever._

(18:22)

I'm glad you haven't cheated, San.

(18:23)

_I really never ever would cheat on you, Britt. I love you._

(18:24)

I love you too, San.

(18:24)

So much.

(18:25)

_Ugh Britt._

(18:26)

What?

(18:27)

_I just... I love you._

(18:29)

More than CoD?

(18:30)

_Why did I know that was coming?_

(18:31)

Because I'm predicatable?

(18:32)

_You're amazing._

(18:33)

I know.

* * *

><p>(21:12)<p>

When are you coming over then?

(21:13)

_When I'm done here._

(21:14)

Where are you?

(21:17)

San...

(21:19)

_Uhm..._

(21:19)

Really? Now?

(21:23)

So that' why you're taking so long to reply...

(21:28)

_Yes I'm at Puck's._

(21:28)

_He says hi._

(21:28)

_And that you're lucky to have an awesome girlfriend who is awesome and CoD._

(21:29)

Did he really say that?

(21:30)

_Well he did say hi._

(21:30)

_The rest I made up._

(21:31)

I thought you might have...

(21:41)

_I'm coming over now, baby._

(21:42)

Come on my little soldier, I want to get my battles on.

(21:43)

_You're adorable._

(21:43)

And you're a nerd.

(21:44)

_Well..._

(21:44)

_You love it._

(21:45)

I love you.

(21:46)

_Hm. I love you too. _


	10. Marriage

(08:39)

_So, I'm wondering, is there a kind of dress code for this wedding?_

(08:40)

No of course not, Sanny. It's a wedding. Wear weddingy clothes!

(08:42)

_Weddingy clothes? I'm not sure that's a word sweetie._

(08:43)

Whatever :P You know what I'm wearing. You helped me pick it out.

(08:44)

_Exactly._

(08:45)

What do you mean, San?

(08:46)

_Well next to you... I'll just look ridiculous won't I?_

(08:47)

You'll look stunning. Just like you always do.

(08:49)

_Britt. You're too kind to me._

(08:50)

I'm your girlfriend! It's my job to tell you the truth.

(08:51)

And the truth is that you will look absolutely gorgeous. Everyone in the room will be thinking "Woah, lucky Brittany, that Santana is beautiful."

(08:53)

_See, too nice. Too nice to me. _

(08:54)

_Thank you, B._

(08:55)

No problem San. I love you.

(08:56)

_I love you too Britt. See you soon. _

…

(09:23)

San I've been thinking about weddings.

(09:24)

_Me too. About what the right fucking thing is to wear them._

(09:25)

Language, Sanny.

(09:26)

_Sorry babe. Stressed. Mom says hi. She's trying to help me with this silly dress._

(09:27)

Hey Clarisa! Tell her she looks stunning from me.

(09:28)

P.S. Sanny, nice use of "silly" there.

(09:29)

_I know how much you don't like me cussing, babe._

(09:31)

Well it makes you sound horrible. You're not horrible, you're my Santana.

(09:32)

Anyway... marriage.

(09:33)

_Yes, right. Marriage._

(09:33)

_Good when you have the right dress._

(09:34)

Good when you have the right dress. I like that, San. It sounds pretty.

(09:35)

_You always sound pretty, Britt._

(09:36)

Stop flattering me so much! :)

(09:37)

_Impossible._

(09:37)

_Now what were you trying to say?_

(09:38)

I want to get married San.

(09:39)

Not now.

(09:39)

Obviously.

(09:45)

Have I freaked you out?

(09:46)

Oh god. I have. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. I'll keep quiet. Ugh I feel so stupid.

(09:51)

_No! No you didn't Mom was doing my hair, it's taken a while. I'm sorry. _

(09:54)

_And how many times have I told you you are not stupid. Never stupid. Don't call yourself that again. OK, Britt?_

(09:56)

_I want to get married too. _

(09:57)

You do?

(09:57)

For real?

(09:58)

_Yeah I really do. _

(09:59)

To me?

(10:01)

_I think that, after all we've been through, I couldn't get married to anyone else, Britt. I've dreamt about marrying you. I remember the promise I made to you when we were little, with the candy rings. Do you remember that? Do you remember me telling you that I promised to marry you someday?_

(10:03)

Yes.

(10:04)

Yes San, I do. I want to marry you too. At the right time. Yeah? But definitely me?

(10:05)

_Definitely you, Britt._

(10:07)

And it'll be good. Because you'll have the right dress.

(10:08)

_The right dress, yes. :)_

(10:10)

It's a date.

(10:11)

_Yes, it is._

(10:12)

_But before that, our date at your Aunt's wedding awaits us. I'm coming now, babe._

(10:13)

Can't wait San.


	11. Work

(17:13)

San I know Spanish is a different language but I really don't understand it.

(17:14)

_You didn't put your phone into it again did you?_

(17:18)

No, I'm doing homework.

(17:19)

_Oh. Do you want some help?_

(17:24)

No, thank you :)

(17:26)

_Oh, why?_

(17:28)

Because I need to learn or I'm not going to pass.

(17:28)

_I see. _

(17:30)

Yeah.

...

(17:56)

_Brittany?_

(17:58)

Yes, San?

(17:59)

_You'll pass._

(18:03)

Do you think so?

(18:05)

_Yeah, I do._

(18:07)

I hope so. I want to come to college with you.

(18:07)

_You do?_

(18:10)

Yes, San, I do.

(18:11)

_You've got plenty of time to do that._

(18:15)

No I don't, I need to study and then I can go to college and we can be together.

(18:16)

_I want that too Brittany. _

_..._

(20:10)

_How is the homework going?_

(20:11)

San I'm so proud of myself. I finished the Spanish, read up to date for English and I even managed to write that essay for History. I'm all up to date. I don't think I've been like this since I started kindergarten!

(20:13)

_See, Britt, I told you you could do it. We're going to be fine. I'm proud of you too._

(20:15)

I'm reading more of The Great Gatsby so I'll be ahead of the class now. I bet Mrs Robinson hasn't even read as much as me. But maybe I'll understand what she says all the time. It's a good book actually.

(20:16)

_Yeah I like it too._

(20:17)

Come over and cuddle me and I'll read to you?

(20:18)

_Sounds like fun._

(20:19)

Are we nerds?

(20:21)

_Nah, we're too hot to be nerds._

(20:23)

San hahaha.

(20:25)

_Well, what if we got our sweet loving on afterwards? Then would we be nerds?_

(20:26)

Sex after reading? I think that's what nerds do, San.

(20:27)

_Well, declare me a nerd._

(20:31)

Hehehe cool. No one has ever called me a nerd before.

(20:32)

_Me neither. I would have went crazy them if they did._

(20:34)

I know you would :P

(20:35)

But not with me :)

(20:36)

_Never with you, B. 3_

(20:38)

Aww Sanny 3

(20:39)

But, anyway San?

(20:41)

_Yes, baby?_

(20:42)

We will be OK won't we? I mean, if I don't get into college, and you do? We'll be OK.

(20:43)

_We'll be fine. Nobody is taking you from me, Britt, I don't care what happens. _

(20:44)

Good. But I will try.

(20:45)

_I know you will. And I'll help in anyway I can, yeah?_

(20:46)

Thank you.

(20:47)

_No problem, love you._

(20:48)

I love you too, San.


	12. Closet

(11:30)

_Britt Britt, I'm realllly bored._

(11:31)

Me too, San. I hate Math.

(11:32)

_Ugh me too, Britt._

(11:33)

Let's talk about something else to stop me falling asleep.

(11:33)

_Good idea. I'm so bored of watching Mercedes trying to get pencils out of her hair it's ridiculous_.

(11:34)

Why does she have pencils in her hair?

(11:34)

_Sam thought it was funny or something, idk. So what song are we going to do for glee?_

(11:35)

Wait, we're going to be singing together this time?

(11:36)

_Sure we are Britt, aren't we? I thought we decided we were going to the other night._

(11:38)

Well I want to, but I thought you didn't like singing love songs to me in front of other people. I thought that was just for home, or bed, or in the care.

(11:39)

_That's changed now though, yeah? Now we're together we can sing with each other at school. _

(11:42)

Oh San I'm so excited! Are you sure it wouldn't be too much of a "public announcement"?

(11:43)

_Yeah I'm sure... Britt we kiss in school now!_

(11:44)

But, Santana, we used to do that anyway...

(11:46)

_No we didn't..._

(11:47)

Yes we did!

(11:48)

_Unless there's another cheerleader called Santana you've been making out with then no we didn't._

(11:49)

So we've never made out in the locker rooms?

(11:51)

_Right yeah OK, fair enough._

(11:52)

Or in the toilets?

(11:54)

_Yes OK Brittany, you're right._

(11:56)

Or in the janitor's closet...

(11:57)

Ohh do you remember that time? When I was hiding from Rachel because the goat ate her money.

(11:58)

_Yes! When I looked look Michelle Obama.  
><em>

(11:59)

Right, and you said I looked crazy hot in that skirt.

(11:59)

_And it came down your hips really easily...  
><em>

(12:01)

Then the janitor came in and ruined it.

(12:02)

_Well, yes.  
><em>

(12:02)

And we had to pretend we were looking for a mop!

(12:03)

_Hahahaha. How the hell did we get away with that?  
><em>

(12:04)

He didn't tell on us because he needed to clean something up in the bathrooms and he couldn't remember our names.

(12:04)

_How do you know that, Britt?_

(12:05)

I was talking to him before about it.

(12:06)

_You were what?_

(12:07)

Well he saw me in the bathroom and he asked if it was me and I said yeah it was me and my girlfriend. Then he said that he didn't think you were my girlfriend.

(12:08)

_Oh, I see... Did he say why?_

(12:09)

Because we seemed like the closeted type.

(12:10)

_Hahahah oh my god the closeted type that is fucking hilarious._

(12:11)

No it's not San, you were closeted and it wasn't funny at all. Actually it was sad. Very sad.

(12:12)

_No he doesn't mean it like that. Well he does... but the joke is that we were in a closet doing it. So we were closeted._

(12:12)

Ohh. Haha right. Yeah that is funny.

(12:13)

Now I understand why he was surprised when I shouted at him.

(12:14)

_You shouted at him!_

(12:16)

Well he laughed when he said closeted so I got mad. Because you know, you were so upset when we had to hide. I was upset too so I told him off. He said he was sorry and he promised to not tell Figgins on us if I stopped shouting.

(12:18)

_So?_

(12:19)

So I stopped shouting..._  
><em>

(12:20)

_No I mean what happened when you stopped shouting._

(12:21)

I gave him a hug and walked away.

(12:22)

_And when was this?_

(12:23)

Ten minutes ago, I managed to get a hall pass.

(12:24)

_Where were you then? Roaming the halls? :P  
><em>

(12:25)

No, I was in the girls toilets. He was cleaning something up, some sick or something.

(12:26)

_Nice._

(12:27)

Yeah, I made him wash his hands before I hugged him though.

(12:28)

_Oh B, you are funny._

(12:29)

That's what he said!

(12:30)

_I love you._

(12:31)

...He didn't say that.

(12:32)

_Good ;)_

(12:33)

Yes! Lesson's over! Where are you now, San?

(12:34)

_Have a guess ;)  
><em>

(12:35)

No!

(12:36)

_Yes, I'm waiting for you._

(12:37)

Coming now.

(12:38)

_I love it when you say that._

(12:39)

Get rid of the mop babe.

(12:41)

_Already done, B.  
><em>

(12:42)

2 mins.

(12:43)

_Be quicker._


End file.
